1 – Austerity
The SNP’s followers vaunt their glorious queen, Frau Sturgeon, as a Joan of Arc moral crusader fighting against the offensive iniquity of austerity. She fights for the little guy, for the people, for you and me comrade! In the Great Leap forward – the 2015 General Election – our Stalinista said admirable words on the topic, rooted in principle and ethical conviction ‘I will not do any deals with parties of austerity.’ Words for the ages, yes?! No! In Olympic speed she has reversed this stance in a move that would give the most cynical commentators political whiplash
For those in doubt let me explain – the EU has enacted the most toxic austerity program in European history, administered fatal doses of austerity directly into the body of nations across the continent. Brussels performs an economic blood-letting intended to make the economically sick better but only serves to put nations on life-support. We all know the stories. The EU inserted Troika officials into the Irish Government, abolished the Irish National Minimum Wage and massacred social services. In Greece, austerity measures were pushed through against the Greek peoples’ will and the IMF sold the state assets. In Latvia the health service has been cut by 36%. The country still lags behind its 2008 living standards. Since 2008 austerity is now enshrined in law and the EU constitution. The EU is the Kingdom of Austerity.
Morals only extend to the Cliffs of Dover, apparently. The very saviours of Scotland, the SNP, and their phalanx of the intellectually inert, are now willing to get in bed with this unholy corporate alliance. The SNP have such unyielding love for neoliberal austerity that it will trigger another referendum, should their membership be withdrawn. Let me see here, the SNP wanted independence because neoliberal austerity, but now want to join an international austerity union that will have austerity written in our constitution, forcing all new members to implement austerity. Wow! How the Frau in fuchsia manages to get out of her bed in the morning without a spine is a miracle worthy of Vatican investigation.
2 – Self-Determination and Independence
We know the SNP narrative. Scotland should be Independent – Hurrah! The people of Scotland should make their own laws – Damn right!! After all we are an ancient and proud people, if somewhat liberal about wounding our fellow countrymen with kitchenware. Err, quite right,sir! To be ruled by a foreign power is foregoing our birth right as Scotsmen. Bravo! We will certainly not tolerate wretched Tories making our laws, who, by the day, have the coherence of a Gilbert and Sullivan play performed by Tourrete’s sufferers. This is just the jab of nationalistic adrenaline that exercised the nation during that circus of political depravity, the Scottish Referendum. A mendacious ideological mantra as familiar to the SNP as vomit and abject despondency is to your regular Glasgow First Bus journey. This is the oxygen of the SNP; their very existence depends on this grievance. Surely they would support self determination and independence for others? Wrong.
The SNP are horrified when other politicians employ this nationalistic charade for national independence. When Boris Johnson said on the most recent debate that the people of Britain are the best people to handle their affairs it was considered a momentary bout of mania. Sturgeon rubbished the idea of British self-determination. The people? Running their own affairs? Impossible. An idea entirely antithetical to imperatives of globalisation; sovereignty is shared and must be sacrificed to the EU. What she conveniently labelled ‘interdependence.’ She even had the temerity to call other EU countries independent. In 2015, a referendum was held in Greece where 61% voters rejected austerity. The EU rejected the result. In 2008, the Irish people returned a no vote to the implementation if the Lisbon Treaty. The EU rejected this mandate. In 1992, Denmark refused to terms of the Maastricht Treaty twice at the ballot box. The EU rejected the outcome. Now the SNP is promoting this organisation; the same SNP who vaunted democratic ideals so powerfully during the Scottish Referendum. Self-determination is definitely a marriage of convenience, a means to an end, the clarion call for free Caledonia, but not for anyone else
Here is the SNP’s hypocritical logic laid bare. The SNP believe in self-determination and independence from the Union; the English people and the Leave campaign are wrong to pursue self-determination and independence from a Union; Scottish self-determination and independence should be sacrificed for another Union. The level of surrealism and confusion makes one think they are trapped in a John Malkovic movie, or part of some horrific political opera where the characters traverse a series of deep identity crises. But maybe there a more obvious explanation. Maybe the SNP are a capricious rabble with political expediency as their true guiding principle with no honest conviction to the principles of self-determination. Yeah, that is it. That is politics. The SNP are a con, rogue traders; Sturgeon and Salmond, the Sultans of Sham.
3 – The Democratic Deficit
The SNP political buzz-word, Salmond has uttered this noxious phrase with such regularity he is beginning to sound like a political robot with Aspergers. The inscrutable lump and impressive manufacturer of useless twaddle said recently ‘The best way to correct the democratic deficit across the UK is to breakup the UK.’ Well on that logic, we must break the EU because the democratic deficit is a galactic gulf. Laurie Penny put it best in the New Statesmen, the EU has been damaged ‘by decades of neoliberal gerrymandering, of power being shunted towards an unaccountable centre – these injuries are profound and systemic.’ This is not a deficit but a democratic black-hole, matched only in size and incomprehension by Salmond’s all consuming face-hole.
As ever, his Robin to his Batman – wait, perhaps I am being too kind – his Linda to his Neil Hamilton; his Mary to his Fred West; the First Minister of Falsehoods, Wee Nicola, matched his hypocrisy. On the most recent EU debate she said that England had no place querying the EU’s shadowy unelected council because Britain has the House of Lords. Here! Here! I hear you say, a fairly clear, straight forward and inoffensive position, guided by solid democratic principles. The people and only the people should have the power to make laws. Indeed, the Irritant of Irvine has repeatedly offended our lugs with calls for the ‘relic’ Lower Chamber to ‘be dismantled.’
The only thing that was dissolved was Sturgeon’s principles, however. Like re-united twins separated at birth, she now wishes to embrace an unelected chamber with open-arms. It’s the kind of spectacular betrayal of loyalties, and rekindling of a vested love interests, that puts one in mind of the Blair-Gaddafi bromance in the Libyan Desert. Unelected foreign officials who make our laws are actually our bag, baby! The SNP not only want to be part of this clique but they are willing to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Tories to defend it. What foul hypocrisy. This can only be imagined as some form of political swinging, where instead of car keys you place your party membership card in the bowl, and, hey presto! You pull supporter of despotic official instead of Social Democrat. With these contortions Sturgeon and Salmond are a sure thing for World Twister Champion 2016.